Constructive Deconstruction

monday bleaghs.

Anger. Hopeless-ness. Irritation. Hope. Fatigue. Sadness. All rolled into one.

That’s how I’m feeling right now. I don’t know how i’ve come to wake up to this terrible Monday morning but it’s here.

I went to bed a few hours ago feeling all excited about life in general but somehow that’s all gone now.

I’m extremely irritable right now.
and i’m very anti-social.
today wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The bludgeoning of hope.

*A very rant-y post*

I got pretty pissed when I saw Jean’s entry “Students advised to transfer to ITE so as not to affect school ranking?” No, I wasn’t pissed at Jean but at the article that she raised.

The focus on ranking and KPIs are something that I’ve often debated about with some of my scholarly friends(who are slated to run these systems from the top one fine day). It seems to me that everyone who gets inducted into the system begins to accept the justifications for why things are and their energy to ask the question, “Why can’t it be better?” begins to evaporate.

And I guess this attitude, trickles down. In the case of the article, the message really is, “You’re a no hope. Go elsewhere where it’s more suited for your level of inaptitude.” Now blast me all you want. Go ahead, tell me that the principal had kind intentions. The truth is, those kids made it past their ‘N’ level exams unlike their other batchmates. By the yardstick set BY THE SYSTEM, these guys were deemed able to take on the ‘O’ Levels. And whatever hope they had to actually take that path just had to be crushed.

Worse thing about this case, is how the principal of that unmentioned school WANTS 100% passes. Jean’s already written what i want to say about this so go over to her post to read it. Screw education as an ideal. It’s the report card that matters.

You want to know why there’s little hope left in Singaporeans? It’s because the people who run it are so fixated on KPIs.

“How can the system be made ideal?” is a question that people rarely ask themselves anymore here in Singapore. And it’s a very important question because it’s closely tied with hope. Why? Because it’s a question one can sincerely ask himself if there’s a glimmer of hope to actually realise it.

Sure, we all know it’s naive to fully believe that you can realise and idealistic goal. But we’ve become such a pragmatic place that there’s no more room for hope.

We just do what we can.
We just be what we’re allowed to be.
We just…are.
and you hope-filled idealists better start conforming.

No Blogging about ICT

I just noticed a piece of instruction that was coupled with the "No Camera Phones" instruction for this year’s ICT. It reads:-

"…Also, no Blogging of the ICT and its activities are allowed."

I don’t know why ‘blogging’ had a capital ‘B’ but I guess bloggers have now positioned themselves as a force to be reckoned with. I wonder if the security branch now has a blogging intelligence division. If have, can I join? Lol

Familiar Feeling

This feeling is so similar to what I went through last year…except that it’s happening sooner. Feels like I just want to pack up and leave. Crap. Really Really bad.

Mid Day Rant

I was thinking about how the way my blogging has changed through my participation in some article directories and aggregators(such as ping.sg)…

When I first started submitting articles to those directories it forced me to write only on topics that were global…things that were of substance and would be worth reading to the general population. Of course that got kind of heavy and after a while, it sort of made me tired and when you mix that with a blogger’s laziness…bleagh. Writing on non-consequential stuff was such a draw.

And that’s where ping.sg comes in. It’s light. Although good article still get a decent read, it’s mainly the jokes and the sex that gets the biggest draw(Anything with ‘ping.sg’ in the title get’s that too). That said, it’s given me the perfect excuse to keep writing like that. Subconsciously, there’s this need to please. This want to be in the Top 10 without really trying too hard….that is, of course, a formula for failure because the best ones are really the ones that are naturally written without trying too hard.

I think i’m trying too hard to find inspiration. It’s like telling myself to “not think of a green elephant.”

Maybe it’s time to go on hiatus.

Another title-less post. I think someone should do up a “Random Wordpress Title” plugin or something…

It’s 4.26am and I just showered. And i figured i’ll write something before going back to work. I was deciding to sleep when I saw something that just dumped a barrel load of fuel into my motivation tank…So yeah. Monday Madness begins!

I must admit that the weekend was a blast with the ping.sg event and all. I’m just sad that some post event stuff got blown out of proportion. Seriously, I think a combination of oversensitivity coupled with lack of sensitivity is a bad one(yes, it sounds oxymoronic). But either way, I hope things resolve themselves…I have opinions about the whole thing but i’m hoping somehow it’s something that can be resolved face to face. Words…as meaningful as they are…lie. Sometimes they do both the listener and speaker injustice.

But a face. and the eyes…they let you look straight into the soul.

I’m crapping. Have a great monday people!

Things that are pissing me off right now…

1. Reading voxy and his rather stupid rants about being plagiurised…and how he’s adamant that he’s a top blogger. For one, I do get a certain distasteful feeling when I read XX’s blog but in some sense, she makes a logical arguments(although sometimes very biased). But this voxy kid…he’s like, “I’m a top blogger because I’m a top blogger! Just accept that” Haha..pathetic loser.

2. Been reading complaints for months now about people who don’t like noise in the MRT. Don’t like ringtones, speakers, headphones, anything. They just want their quiet time. C’mon. It’s public domain you know? There’s such a thing as a taxi if you want to have all your preferences met. And yes, I’m also one of those who use headphones. But I just as frequently read on the train as well. And if there are people who have blasting headphones, then ok lor…Seriously, if something like that pisses you off, you have a choice. 1. Move. 2. Tell the fella. Bitching about it doesn’t serve any purpose. Sheesh.

Sometimes, i hate how singaporeans complain so much and not do anything. That’s all they do. Bitch.

And they’re proud of it.

My body is revolting.

I have so much to write…For one, I came to realisation that my blog has evolved several times(meaning that it’s moved.) and each time it does that, it served a purpose. But i’ll write about this later…or some other time - I just wanted to write this out to serve as a reminder to myself.

The thing I wanted to rant about right now is how i’m sick. I haven’t been really online for a mixture of reasons. First and foremost is i’ve been playing Civilisation IV and i am “EagleOne, King of United States of America”. I kickass I tell you. Now I know how it feels to wield so much power over weak and powerless people…especially when i’ve got nukes and money…and navies ready to be deployed in any part of the world at a moment’s notice.

But here’s the main reason. I’m sick. After what must be 2 years of sleeping really little, having irregular living patterns, living off what seems to be the London timezone, my body is revolting. And it’s revolting in such an orchestrated fashion, it made it’s point very quickly.  First it was a short bout of diarrhoea, then the fever kicked in. then there was chest pains(which is still here), and then stomaches that well, didn’t allow me to sleep, and didn’t allow me to crap either.

It didn’t like make me sick enough to warrant a trip to the doctor…but it sure as hell didn’t allow me to live my weekend.

So yeah. All that in the past 2 days or so.  Sheesh.

Johor to deploy another 400 police officers…

It’s about time. But I still have my doubts.

I admit, i’m generally biased against JB. This perception that the crime is so high causes me to have a general sense of wariness when I go to any part of Malaysia. I like going to malaysia because it’s got more stuff to see and it’s cheaper too. But I can’t help despising the feeling that i’m like a cow in some tiger’s playpen with everyone being a possible thief/robber/rapist/murderer. The lack of sense of security just kills everything.

If some powerful malaysian sees this, I suggest you do something about those crime rates. Go learn from NYC. Clamp down on crime…and get your officers off them lazy, fearful asses.

…yes, i’m biased. But you can’t blame someone whose brother’s friend, family friend, 2 uncles and father have all been robbed or physically threatened before. In a recent trip that my parents took with the parents of my childhood friend, they even had to consider whose car to drive because there was a fear that the more classy one might actually get stolen.

How to attract people to go to your country to shop?

Now I when i go there…I just wish I was armed.

5am temptations

I think maybe it’s the last minute exam stress talking…but as of right now…this looks really tempting….

…Imagine what I could with one entire free semester…