Constructive Deconstruction

Dear Diary…

December 10, 2002 on 2:45 am | In Reflections | No Comments

Dearest Diary,
In less than 5 hours i’ll be off to the Army. Its just the Physical Training Phase. Not tough is it? Just run and jump and just workout. Easy yeah? Of course!

…Problem is that’s what i’ve been telling myself all this while. But somehow as the hour draws nearer this sudden feeling of uneasiness sets in. Now, frankly I feel very nervous. Suddenly, i’m like looking at a very foreign phase in my life. National Service. But oh well, i’m telling myself to just live on. Get used to life ASAP. Shouldnt be a problem. I’ve survived so much so far. I can’t let it be a problem. Heh, you know i was thinking of this line last night, “If there are things that will happen in NS, maybe the army will teach my confidence some humility. Or maybe my confidence will give the army a whole new meaning of cockiness!” Haha! Just trying to be funny I guess…Or maybe i’m just hiding from the anxiety i feel…

Anyway, I did a lot of meaningful things today. For one, I spent a lot of time just talking to my parents and hanging out with my brothers. I think its something we (or at least I) should do more often. Then I spent time chatting with Q. Heh. I wish i could meet him. But I can’t and he’s enlisting on Thursday. So, Good Luck & Have Fun Q!*Hug* And earlier in the day, I had lunch with Cat and Chonghan(i’ll refer to him as Duck). Good lunch. Played at the arcade in Plaza Singapura after lunch…Heh, I think i’ll force Catharine to play the next time i get her out. Anyway, I bought Cat this photoframe thingy with sand and air in it. Kinda makes a nice mountainous landscape when you just let the sand drop. Heh, I guess I like to buy things for people that hold a certain value in time. I remember that was the thing that kept us stuck at Marina for like 45mins just because she was admiring the thing. That was the day we went to catch a play…Anyway, I would’ve preferred to get Duck a card with a letter but I guess I just didn’t have time. Had a great chat with duck about so many things after lunch…

~Darn. I can’t help but think that i’ll be waking up in like 2.5hours with the mood of enlisting.~

Anyway, chatted with Cat via SMS just now…Heh, talked about prom again. Heh, Darn! I shouldve passed my NAPFA test lah(SO to all you guys..I say again!…Pass the damn test!)…Heh, i wonder if she can visit me during the first incamp visiting thing…Oh well, i’ll find out…then time will tell…

This might be my last post in a while…I’ll try to keep blogging via the SMS Blog on the right panel…That’s if my battery lasts and the phone doesn’t get confiscated…

So to all the people who are reading this, and to all the people I care about…
I love you!
Wish me luck…but don’t worry about me…I’ll survive…
See you guys soon yeah?

With lots of love,
Ridzuan Ashim
R(A)