Constructive Deconstruction

Thursday Thirteen #3

I understand there’s a problem with my template…I missed out the fact that i’m using a widescreen…so pardon the layer overlaps..i’ll correct it when I have time…sorry!

Thirteen Things that irritate me 1. People who lie to me 2. Talking to unreasonable people(ok, i’m guilty of being that sometimes, but usually i just keep quiet when i’m in an unreasonable mood 3. Booting up my laptop (it takes superbly long) 4. Missing out key words when I chat on MSN ( like saying, "I really need this right now" when I actually want to type, "I really DON’T need this right now..") 5. Not knowing what to do sometimes 6. Waking up late(and i do this very often) 7. TV time slots that air commercials every 10-minutes or so. 8. Losing 9. Having nothing to do, or no clear objective when doing something 10. Having an unstable internet connection(i’d rather have no connection than have my wireless come on and off every 20 seconds) 11. Having too little time to finish all the work that’s on my plate 12. Watching TV serials with a bitchy girl that a great guy(who has a great female friend who is in love with him) is completely attracted to and does stupid things for her. 13. People who talk too much and do too little. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Horoscope

I don’t usually post stuff like this…but this one really boosted my ego…haha…Check it out Here

You possess a lot of stamina. You are an over ambitious person. You are never satisfied by working under someone and always want to reach the top position. Usually, your only aim is to progress and rise in the world. You will have the desire to have control and authority over other people. You are a very fortunate person and your destiny will always favour you. You are generous at heart and are also an optimistic person. You never accept defeat easily. You want order and discipline in every work of yours. You will readily obey orders yourself but will also want your orders to be obeyed by others. You do not like being under others obligation. Your only fault is that you insist on carrying out your ideas rather than listening to other’s opinions. This way, even though you are not quarrelsome, you will make many enemies. You will try to bring benefits to other people by your efforts. You are a very humorous person and bring joy wherever you go. You will receive the love and affection of your elderly people and relatives. They will also guide you to your success. Regarding health, you may have to suffer from diabetes and heart problems. You may also suffer from problems related to blood. You may sometimes overwork yourself and become uneasy and suffer from overstrains of the nervous system. You should have pomegranates, peaches and almonds as much as possible. You should take boiled dates in milk regularly. This will prove very useful to you.

You possess a noble and religious mind. You will successfully face every forth-coming difficulty in life with courage and braveness. You are a very good communicator and you can prove to be a great educationist. You will approach your life very practically. You are true to your word and you honour your commitments. You are very fast in making friends.

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Like a diamond covered in dust

I lay down yesterday and a funny thought whispered to me:
I put out my hand
and fight
and i’ll bring the cows home…

I feel so tired right now…much like there is leading hanging on my eyelids and my lips. My face is ashen and drawn into an infinite implosion of expressions. Yet this is purely a result of the exhaustion of my physical self. Yet what I’m feeling goes beyong this exhaustion.

I reached an enlightenment this evening…and it brings me a great smile to my heart.

Like a diamond covered in dust, you know?

*smiles*

Do I hold you accountable?

I feel compelled to write this after reading a certain entry…Let me tell you a little about my personal dilemmas..One that has being plaguing me for a long time now.

I am person who values the importance of a person’s character. I don’t care if you’re smart, or stupid, or rich, or poor. You must have integrity. You must have honour. As such, I expect no less of that for myself.

I am recovering from a relationship. In this entire recovery process, I realise that i get the same feelings of attraction to certain people that I now meet and work with. But I dare not act upon these emotions for fear that it would dilute the value of my character.

What would my words to my ex girlfriend mean, "I will love you come what may. I will love you even if you leave. I will love you…forever."
It constantly plays in my head, "If I love another, what is the value of my word?"

I have come to realisation that this is life. And we can only expect to act upon reasonable circumstances. My ex who broke up with me cannot expect me to hold those words up high now that she chose to end our relationship. And as such, I may not. She shall not hold me accountable for happens now, and I shall not do the same either.

And this is where I lose my temper, writing this entry without the approval that I so honestly should get before clicking "Publish"….

I watched for many months how my best friend struggled through the remnants of his relationship turning from the leader that he is to a pathetic foolish idiot. He crawled, bawled, begged, cried, you name it. He did it. He was so fucking pathetic when he was left in the lurch for the upteenth time just because his partner felt angry and thus acted to break up impulsively.  Many of tried to comfort him to ask him to move on…But he didn’t. He even wrote a beautiful entry on how he felt. And still…she was cold. It crushed him.

And now she wants him back. And now she’s wondering if his lovely promises are something that reflects his character?

What right does she have to do that? What right do you have to hold another person accountable for their words when you took him for granted, threw him away at the whim of your tantrums? You have no right. And what saddens and angers me is that you fail to see the selfishness of your actions, your thoughts - so immature, childish, tantrum filled.

I am so pissed just being a bystander.
And I must write this, even if its just to get it out of my system. And I don’t care if it’s a balanced and fair statement. You have a right to an opinion and the expression of it and so do i.

"You left him. And like all the times, you expected him to come crawling back to you. This time, he didn’t. That must have shocked you. You wanted him back. And he didn’t bite the bait. And now things crumble….But remember, you left him."

I have only 1 advice: Think about your impulsive acts. Sometimes, they don’t give you a second chance…better still…don’t expect one.

Weekend Reflections

My reflections.
Extremely Exhausted.
Can’t get my sleeping patterns right.
School Starting soon.
Trying to tie up loose ends.
Feeling Empty.
Yup. That’s it this week.

Ping.SG: The Singaporean Blogger Portal

I posted this on XSMatter as well but I think it deserves mention here too…

I chanced upon this site while blog surfing and found out that it was founded by a friend’s friend. Now, because i’ve pretty taken a higher interest in blogging these days plus, i’m a strong support of new ideas and projects( Start-ups should support each other ) I decided to put this up.

Ping.SG allows bloggers to ping the platform and the latest/hotest blog entries will be aggregated and published on the site front. Officially(Based on their FAQ), Ping.SG is

ping.sg is a meta blog for Singapore bloggers. It aims to create a comprehensive and thorough database for blog entries written by local bloggers and/or with local interest. ping.sg also aims to create online community for Singapore bloggers to interact and gives every single blogger the same chance to stand out above the rest.

The entire project is still very new but I think it’s very promising. Another point to take note is that they’re just about 2 weeks old at the point of this entry…so cut em some slack ya?

Kudos to Ping.SG

Thursday Thirteen #2

13 Things that I take to heart 1. My family - As much as I don’t spend enough time with them. As much as I get irritated by them because we share different opinions. They’re family and they’ve been there no matter what I’ve gotten myself into 2. The Middle East Conflict - Ok. If you didn’t know, I’m a moderate muslim. But no. I’m not going to talk about how muslims are mistreated or misunderstood because I know that happens all the time, between people. So it’s really not a religion thing. But…Hey. People are dying. Tons of them. But I can’t do much from where I am can i? So why do I care? Other than the fact that i find it a senseless conflict with pride and ego being the primary basis, if there’s a middle east conflict, oil prices will go up!!! And every knows that when that happens, everything else goes up. The taxi fares go up. The electricity. The water. The food. Everyone’s going to use increasing oil prices to raise their prices. Who loses? ME!!! aaahhh!!! 3. Overconfident People - I just hate how some people that I talk to are so sure of themselves. There are those that shoot you down and have the credentials for it…that’s fine. Then there are those who have nothing in the bag and shoot you anyway. The absolute worst…those who come to me for advice based on the measly credentials that I may have(stuff they don’t have) and then they shoot me! Gee… 4. Being idealistic - I personally think that being idealistic is important. Sure we might never achieve it…but to settle for something realistic really builds a wall around what we perceive as realistic. Up till the point someone actually travelled around the world, we ‘knew’ that the world was flat. So how far does ‘real’ go before it’s ‘ideal’? 5. Passion - This is have not much to say. This is key for anything being done. 6. Honour - I believe quite a fair bit in this. I believe that as people, at the end of the day, we’re really worth as much as our actions and our words. Our character basically. 7. No-Action-Talk-Only - Now, I really don’t like people who keep talking about doing something about something and months or years down the road are still thinking of doing it. You want to do? Do. Otherwise don’t waste time talking about it. I admit, i’m guilty of this sometimes… 8. Boredom - I hate not doing anything. I hate not knowing what i’m supposed to be doing. I the fact that I get very stressed or nervous when i’m just around with no goal. 9. Friends - I am the result of mixing around with my friends. And for that, I am eternally grateful. And for that too, I take my friendships very very very personally. 10. Education - This is really the key to progress. I come from a race that many still perceive as lacking in terms of education.(And no. I am not just referring to the grades). However, I have pretty much broken out of that cycle thanks to my family. Similarly, i think it is this that will help many problems solve themselves. Why do we liberate people who do not want to liberated simply to the fact that the word ‘freedom’ does not exist in their heads? Educate them. And when they see what it is, they’ll want. And they’ll fight for it. 11. People thinking that my goal is to make Tons and Tons of money - Yes. That is what i’m trying to do. But no. That is not my goal. My goal is to achieve my dream which is to be able to have the freedom to live life the way i want to together with the people I love. I also want to have the freedom to affect change. And right now, the currency for that freedom is power…and right now, power is money. It’s just a means to an end. If you told me my dream would granted by kissing a monkey, i’d do just that. =) 12. My spoilt aircon - I have been sleeping in a closed room with just a fan. It’s so hot and humid, i sweat in my sleep. bleagh. 13. Feeling out of place in TT13 - I’ve been blog hopping some TT13 blogs from time to time and really…I’m the only guy. Plus, i’m the only kid. Can someone please tell me that this is perfectly normal….haha Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Project BlogHeart: We don’t just talk, we take action.

Before I go on any further, I’m really excited to have decided to do this. The last time I was involved in short-term project management was when I was in the Student Council back in Junior College. It’s so great to know that you could put in to a few months worth of time and see it bear fruit. Honestly, I’m not sure what i’m going to do…I’m even less sure how i’m going to make money for the whichever charity it’s going to be…But we’re going to do this. For fun, but also for a cause.

This is what I need to do:
1. I need a group of 2 or 3 other people to help me out with the thoughts and all because I don’t have that much time.
2. I need to think of what we, as blogging community can do…chess is what i have in mind, but really…I think some people would be bored of it.
3. I need to think of all the protocols to make sure this is as transparent as possible. Now, i’m not going to prepare financial reports and all that because this is really just a fun thing to do. So don’t sue me. But I will want to document it. I do want to show you who the money is going to. I do want to show the faces of the people that we’re actually helping out with.
4. I need to know which charity to approach!

Ok. I’ve officially named this charity effort thing Project BlogHeart and i’ll start by laying out some help that I need from those of you who read my blog. I’m going to start by asking you for 2 favours…

1) If you read my blog, tell them about this project. Better still ask them to contact me at ridz84[at]gmail.com !
2) Suggest organisations that we can adopt. We’ll only adopt 1 but I intend to email a few to see who best to help…

That’s all for now! Cheerios!

For Charity

Ok…I woke up thinking, that my blog must have a real purpose of sorts - sure i can talk and comment and stuff. But I want it to do something real. I’m do-er. And yes, despite Ivan telling me to slow down(which I will eventually), I want to take this opportunity to do something real. I want to make some small cash via my blog for charity.

Immediately 2 questions pop up in my head, please help me address them if possible:-
1. What can I do? I’m thinking of holding a small chess tournament($1 to take part and overall winner gets a percentage of the total and the rest goes to a charitable organisation)
2. Which charity? I haven’t been a charity person…I hated doing flag days that were made compulsory during school because it felt so fake…so forced.

So here I am. Let’s do something, no matter how small…

I don’t want to sound like i’m managing you…But really
I want to make this one happen.

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Below is a list of possible organisations(i’ll add to it as i receive suggestions)(It should be a Singapore Based organisation):-
1. Club Rainbow