Constructive Deconstruction

On Closure

I read this in a friend’s blog…Althought I don’t share the memory, she triggered the right emotions…thought i’d share it with you guys…(i edited the formatting a little to increase readability…just a little)

the other day, my bro & i went there to look at it for the last time. i took the camera, thinking i’d have plenty of pictures to take but i surprised myself. i couldn’t seem to find the perfect angle for the perfect shot. actually, there was no shot to begin with. the place had become so different from five, six years (or was it seven?) who could remember how long it’d been?

i made my way up the spiral stairs, to the room that used to house this cool bed set that came with a table, shelves & a flight of stairs (that had secret drawer compartments) leading to the bed. the room has this zig-zag glass partition where we (my siblings & cousins) would lay out layers after layers of blankets, pile up the pillows and then seal off the entrance with a mattress. then we’d talk, laugh & have supper in it till one by one, we’d start dozing off. sometimes waking up to find someone’s hand or leg sprawled across yours hahah.

weekends were mostly spent there - saturdays were always play-days, where we’d have the luxury of swimming, playing table tennis, shooting some hoops (not me though cos i’ve had a phobia of basketballs since i don’t know when) before adjourning for piping hot home-cooked lunch. i used to play detective with my pretend kit, filled with powder (for fingerprints), threads, a notebook & a pen. i’d scout the garage for clues, then go around the bushes, confident that i’d find something substantial. i remember distinctly how our sundays were always dreadful cos it meant homework. i remember playing tekkan, street fighter, crash bandicoot & the likes in our trusty ps 2. all that, and more. but they’re gone now, along with the house. you know, i did my first split there because i was running out from the kitchen, oblivious to the slipperly floor that had just been mopped. and woila! a perfect split. i had trouble getting up really. i stood there, at that moment, wishing so hard that i could take a video of it all. or at least a picture of the happy & sad times. i found it hard to fit in, to you know, find that sense of familiarity beneath all the washed & cracked walls, and the vacant rooms.

i guess, that’s what closure is all about.

I guess closure comes in many forms…what was to be a pictorial was captured best with words…

On Caning in Singapore

Came across this blog entry and it made me wonder how many other misconceptions of Singapore people have…

I remember hosting several friend from overseas before and I tried to expain the concept of caning to them…How does a person describe that process?

Well, I tried to keep it light hearted so i went along the lines of…

"Well, if you’re a guy and you get convicted of certain offences like rape or something, you be sentenced with several strokes of the cane. Essentially that would mean that they’d strip you and take this long chemically-treated stick and ermm…"

and that point, i didn’t know what to say…Was "Spank" a good word to use(i was afraid of its sexual connotations)? I decided "beat" was better.
Then came another concern…I had to expain where they get beaten for fear of some misconception that our laws beat you all over like it were torture….

So i decided…

"…they’d strip you and take this long chemically-treated stick and ermm…BEAT YOUR ASS!"

Haha…someone please tell me a better way of explaining caning…

Untitled

In a whirlpool of thoughts
swirling with priorities
and values that clouts
the judgement of the mind

Is a time when we ponder
where we are
and will be
and ideals that flounder

And yet the path is clear
to hold the things so dear
close to the heart
then shut the eyes, shed a tear

And then
sacrifice.
Because
in the greater scheme of things

Something has to give.
So give.
I give.

–Ridzuan Ashim(1984–??)

Do I make you proud - Taylor Hicks

Do I Make You Proud
by Taylor Hicks

I’ve never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that’s who I am

Because of you I am standing tall,
My heart is full of endless gratitude,
You were the one, the one to guide me through,
Now I can see and I believe it’s only just beginning

Chorus-
This what we dream about
but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I’ve ever been NOW
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

I guess I’ve learned, to question is to grow
That you still have faith, is all I need to know
I’ve learned to love, myself in spite of me
And I’ve learned to walk, the road that I believe

This what we dream about
but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I’ve ever been NOW
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

Chorus x 3