Constructive Deconstruction

Thanks

Sorry for the flurry of entries….I’m fine now

This is what happens when the pressure of work gets to you….everything else floods in.

Thanks for taking an interest =)

Running Away

F*)($&$(@*&@&&@

I miss her.
and I don’t even know who she is anymore.

tell me

tell me oh fair one what tomorrow will be like for every day feels empty. My world is a blur of events that skip from one scene to another like a badly done up powerpoint presentation. Sometimes I even get a blue screen of death which forces me to just stop everything I’m doing right in the middle of the day, or at night, or at any time it wishes.

tell me why i hate it when anyone calls me ‘dear’ or ‘love’ or any other affectionate term you can think of..even if it were just in jest. It’s almost as if some already owns those words in my life.

tell me why i want to call every girl i meet a princess or why i have this instinct to protect their interests. why do i even bother? they won’t remember me for more than 5 minutes.

tell me why i do what i do now because i don’t know why i do it anymore. i float from one thing to another trying to make the people i work with(and for) smile. am i trying to find smiles where i have little of my own?

tell me why i put on a perpetual smile in front of everyone. it’s almost become a trained response that even when i break bad news to my parents…i smile. did the smile campaign for the IMF visit really work on me?

tell me why at a time when i’m having almost everything in my life look good, that i feel most ugly. like i want to stop everything i’m doing and just eat. drink. and sleep.

tell me why i’m suddenly hearing the song "Tell me why" by the Backstreet Boys in my head.

tell me. tell me the truth like you did before. tell it straight in my face - raw and unabridged. tell it like my coffee tells me - black and bitter.

why are you not telling me anything?

who are you that can tell me?

who am i talking to anyway?

you.
yes you.
tell me.