Constructive Deconstruction

November 6, 2006 on 11:09 pm | In Personal Rants | No Comments

I never agreed with Jasmine’s reasons to move out and live on her own.

…until today.

I see now how the reasons outweigh the economic rationalities of it all. I see now how at the end of the day, it’s terrible have so much work and yet have this unnecessary negative chatter between people.

I just want to come home and have this happy air around me…and not feel happier when i’m out of the house.

Random Thoughts

November 6, 2006 on 10:58 pm | In Personal Rants | No Comments

My mother and my maid share a love hate relationship. My mother needs her because she’s someone my mother can talk to, and pretty much depend on. But as with all human relationships, there is friction. And that’s perfectly normal…until my mother starts to take it all out on everyone else. Then my mother goes into this self-pitying mode(Now I know how cat must’ve seen me…and it’s something i’ve sworned never to be…although i might be becoming a tad bit too extreme in my compensation). And it all this happens quite frequently. There’s a lot I can say, but i shan’t because i’m too lazy to type it all out. And I don’t have to anyway. This is my personal blog…and i can write one-sided, half-truthed, nonsensical entries if I want to. If you want to read something more balanced…trying keying this into your URL…http://www.xsmatter.com ( Yes, type it in. I’m not going to link it for you)

Well, anyway, after years i think, my father has always left the decision of the whether to get a new maid or something to my mother. She is afterall employed for the purpose of helping my mother. But year after year, my mother knows how much she needs this maid(she’s quite capable) and simply gets the same maid renewed. But all this self-pitying and taking it out on the rest of the family is getting too much.

I just asked my parents to send the maid home. She’s a good maid. By my own standards, if i had to get a maid for myself, this would be it. But since my mom never wants to control the maid and always lets the maid ‘win’ and then blames the maid and all of us of not caring about her….well, enough is enough. I want the maid to go home. And I want the next maid to be one of those Kampung dumbasses who just knows how to follow orders, not because i want it per se, but because that’s best for my mother. She wants to feel like she’s all powerful? Can. We just give her weak subordinates .

This is fucking frustrating.

I don’t care if i’m not making sense.

And yes, this is why you should never get too close with people you work with…because one day, you’ll just have to get rid of them whether it’s their fault or not. It’s all for the greater good.

I hate the world I live in. And I hate not having anyone to talk to anymore. Not like I did years ago…

Argh.

Oh…and if that’s not enough…the name a.a.ron ng has revisted me. twice. Someone whose mere name i used to really get pissed off with is someone i probably have to work with if i want to get xsmatter rolling. I don’t need to…but i should. Simply because it’s a someone that was recommended by someone else. And as a matter of principle, if I let this pass, i’ll set a precedence for myself to let other names pass just because I don’t like em. How professional is that? Freak. I almost let it pass though…until i saw that even be.rnard leo.ng made a reference to that guy. Geez.
I wonder if he knows me from before…shuckz.

Today is turning into a very bad day. very very bad day.